C0-Dependent No More

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C0-Dependent No More

Post by Linda on April 15th 2010, 12:49 pm

"Many of us do not understand what we are responsible for and what we are not responsible for. We may believe we have to get into a tizzy when someone has a problem because it is our responsibility to do that. However, at the heart of most rescues is a demon: low self-worth. We rescue because we don't feel good about ourselves.. caretaking provides us with a temporary hit of good feelings, self-worth, and power. Just as a drink helps an alcoholic momentarily feel better, a rescue move momentarily distracts us from the pain of being who we are. We don't feel loveable, so we settle for being needed. We don't feel good about ourselves, so we feel compelled to do a particular thing to prove how good we are."

- Melody Beattie, page 90 from her book "Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself".Beattie is a New York Times Best-selling author and journalist.
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Re: C0-Dependent No More

Post by Wind-Dancer on April 15th 2010, 12:52 pm

sounds like a good book, thanks for sharing linda.

Love and Light

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Re: C0-Dependent No More

Post by mia on April 15th 2010, 3:15 pm

I learnt that a year or so ago.
It really is a great relief when it sudenly hits you that you are not responsible for everyones happiness.
That he/she is sposed to be going through that heartbreak etc. etc.etc.
It doesnt stop me feeling for another, listening is a much better thing to do cos talking heals.

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Re: C0-Dependent No More

Post by Linda on April 15th 2010, 6:02 pm

I'm still learning. I did not realize how many books that I had on that subject, until my sister in law commented after looking at my books on my bookshelf. "Mmmmm Co-Dependent are we?" After reading them, I donated them to a Womens Shelter so that other ladies could learn too. (-:
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Re: C0-Dependent No More

Post by Spirit-Being on April 16th 2010, 12:26 pm

Sounds like a great book Linda, i struggled greatly up until recently, thinking i knew what was best for people. Everything we go through is for a reason. I learned so much through all my drinking and drugging days, that it has helped me understand that they did not actually help me cope with worldy things at all & it gave me a false comfort just for a bit, it just helped to hide the pain & fear i was going through. You are very Kind Hearted Linda & The information in them books should help many.

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Re: C0-Dependent No More

Post by d-knots on May 3rd 2010, 9:29 pm

LOVE IT!

it's even better when you really need it...as always...LOL

definitely great concepts for those whos either families, schools, or
neighbors never told them what they needed to know to survive the mess.....

Good Sharing
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