COMING OUT OF THE BROOM CLOSET

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COMING OUT OF THE BROOM CLOSET

Post by FIRE on June 26th 2009, 4:14 pm

Sacrifices: Coming out of the broom closet.
I thought long and hard for a couple of weeks on whether to do an interview on live radio (about a year ago). Fought , going back and forth on my decision. I knew that I wold run the risk of public scrutiny. I also considered the ramifications that could play out in my personal life.

So I decided that I would do the interview and let out the real me, divulging secrets that I had been keeping for 30 years. Personal growth, you bet! Regrets, not really. Cause the truth will set you free!

I figured that there would be consequences. And there were. I got deleted as a friend by quite a few people. But thats OK because I can make new friends and this time around they will be quality friends.

I contemplated the outcome that coming out of the broom closet might have on my personal life. I decided that the risk was worth it because I wanted to obtain a sense of freedom and to be able to voice my opinions and feelings. Did I take into consideration that the truth would do permanent damage to a relationship. Yes, and I thought the truth was bound to surface eventually and I might as well face the music. After all, If your partner cant love you for who and what you are, then you probably don't need to be with that person.

Freedom may mean having to start over in many areas of my life. But the lessons learned and personal growth.........PRICLESS!



Loosing my Religion & Shift in consciousness
I call myself pagan for lack of better terms
but I do not follow any set rules or organizations.


added note: now that I have put it all in text, I now question my self as to what am I (meaning a title)? I know who I am just not sure if I fit in w/ any entitlement. Am I a pagan? Well I guess I should not dwell on the entitlement and long as I'm in touch with me and know who I am, what I think and feel then it's .... "I'm good"

This is a reflection of my journey out of the Christan faith. This is a good representation of my own thought patterns as I became convinced that what I had been forced to believe was flawed and not to be correct after all.
As children most of use are forced into religion. Usually being that of which our parents/ family had been passing down for generations.

And in my late teens, I started to rebel. I could no longer abide by the idea that my parents choice was all true. And in my mind, it needed to
be all true in order to have any truth at all. Of course I know some good
Christians, but it's not up to them to decide
what I believe. It's just up to me.
Standing back and watching this strange ritual that took place every Sunday was confusing to say the least. It appeared
that the whole idea was to get dressed and try to out do your friends, talk about how great everything is and show off all your material possessions.

Looking for the need to find some cohesive representation of the "truth" then perhaps what you said here would make sense. But I do not feel that way. I currently feel no need to "have" the truth. I am not seeking it. That has been the biggest part of my whole journey, giving up the need to be right about everything. I think not.

I was very self-absorbed in my younger days, and I admit it freely. I still am somewhat self absorbed these days but not nearly as bad.
This is my life. It is my choice what to believe. And I am the one who must live with those choices. The notion that our faith is a form of self-absorption, well I think I hit the nail on the head.

I think Christians are just as messed up as non-Christians, and in fact many are worse because they want to judge the behaviors of others while asking those same others not to judge "their Christ" by their own behaviors. Some believe that the greater good must be achieved, even if they end up killing people to achieve the greater good.

This was the thoughts that made me go in search for the truth.
And the beginning of a journey down many paths over the course of may years to get to where I am now. I tend to go from one extreme to the other, always have. Once I broke free from the Methodist upbringing. I found myself being pulled to the dark side. When I was in college I found a satanic cult and became wrapped up in it. I parted ways with the cult and struck out on my one once again looking for the answer. Over the years, I studied druidism, Judaism, Buddhism, Church of God, and Pentecostal to name a few.
It was not until I reached my early 30's when I realized that
The answer was finding yourself, and believing that, is the most important thing. Until you find yourself you are mealy existing and living up to others ideals and expect ions.

I beg to question, because I know the answer. I lived it for many years. People decide to believe in their brand of faith because it gives them an experience they interpret as being from God. And once they have interpreted that experience as being from God, via their chosen belief system of course, they use it as proof that their belief is the right one. It is self-fulfilling prophesy in all its glory. If you tell someone who feels they are unable to change them self that your God is almighty, that he is her maker, and that he can, therefore, change her. You tell her that your God can do what she believes she cannot do. You tell her that if she actually decides to believe in that God she can be changed, and that it will happen if she just does this and says these words and really means it with all her heart. And then, when she believes and does what she's been told and really means it with all her heart, her incredibly powerful mind will make the change for her. Yes, her own mind does it - not God. The problem was never that she could not make the change herself; it was that she did not believe she could make the change. And belief is everything. Believing in a God gives us enough faith that real changes happen.

It is the woman That usually has a true experience because of her belief in something greater than herself. But it was the belief that made the difference, not the God in whom she believed. People of all faiths share the same experiences. They all have the same result. They have an extraordinary experience that they interpret as coming from the God of their choice, and it is that experience that reinforces the faith of their choice and gives them the ability to believe even more fully. It is also why there is so much division in religions - because they are based on subjective experience rather than on objective truth. Each person who really believes - and I mean really believes with all her heart - puts herself into a mental situation that almost requires that her mind deliver an answer - and that answer has to be that the given system in which she has chosen to believe must be the right one since she followed that particular system's "God-given" mandates in order to have her experience.

And This is why I decided to walk away from the Faith. I'm Pagan, and proud of it.
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Re: COMING OUT OF THE BROOM CLOSET

Post by Wind-Dancer on June 26th 2009, 7:00 pm

You reaffirmed my faith in myself . Thank you so much for sharing

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Re: COMING OUT OF THE BROOM CLOSET

Post by 23luda23 on June 27th 2009, 4:48 am

Your post reminded me of couple of quotes that has inspired me;

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

"It is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you are not."
— André Gide

I admire your originality and your courage. Thank you for sharing.

Peace and Love :love3:
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Re: COMING OUT OF THE BROOM CLOSET

Post by FIRE on June 27th 2009, 2:43 pm

Thanks all for reading it!
and I love that quote: "It is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you are not."
I live by it!
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Re: COMING OUT OF THE BROOM CLOSET

Post by Spirit-Being on June 28th 2009, 11:51 am

I can definitely relate to what you went through Fire

I have felt for a long time that most of my beliefs came from my mother and the community i lived in. I was raised according to catholic beliefs and i too felt that it was time for me to move on and explore and learn about other belief systems.The Buddhist path & Meditation seemed to be very simple and i found much strength in the teachings. I also found gnosticism to be very intriguing and loved what the word gnostic meant Of, relating to, or possessing intellectual or spiritual knowledge I also found kabbalah to be very intriguing as well, the word mystic has been a word that i felt drawn to.

I have also been without a true label sometimes i feel like a cameleon that changes his colors according to his enviroment. I feel this is how i stay open by floating like a feather where ever the wind decides to take me.

I truly admire uniqueness in people it shows a lot of courage in a world that is so blind & scared of who they truly are. People seem to judge according to what they feel each person should be. They just have not broken free from this and they are just scared to show who they truly are because they are scared of being judged. When they do realize that all the judgements they have made was just hurting them and others they will finally see the truth.

Some people judge me for who i am as well, i have very long hair and a long beard, and there have been some people including family members that said i should shave the beard off, but i refuse to cut it, this is who i am.

When you decided to come out of the closet i believe it was to show you who is true and who is false. If people don't love you for you then they do not know themselves fully.

I think most of us go through a period of the darkside in some way, i too have gone to the dark side for a time. Using ouija board contacting evil spirits and in turn noticing bad changes in me. At that time i was a very angry person and had a lot of problems loving myself. But it was something that i needed to experience to understand where i needed to go next on my path.

This was an amazing post and i am really glad you shared this with us.

Many Blessings

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Re: COMING OUT OF THE BROOM CLOSET

Post by FIRE on June 28th 2009, 12:37 pm

Spirit-Being, You have a great way with words!
for some reason, this especially speaks to me.
Spirit-Being wrote:
I have also been without a true label sometimes i feel like a cameleon that changes his colors according to his enviroment. I feel this is how i stay open by floating like a feather where ever the wind decides to take me.


It's most important to answer to what is in out hearts. And not care about what others think.

I think about the Shakespeare Quote "To thine on self be true". And realize the profoundness of it.

BTW, the Goddess doesn't want us to cut our hair........

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Re: COMING OUT OF THE BROOM CLOSET

Post by Spirit-Being on June 28th 2009, 11:25 pm

FIRE wrote:I think about the Shakespeare Quote "To thine on self be true". And realize the profoundness of it.

Shakespeare was a very smart man. Being true to yourself is worth more than all the lies.

The reason i say this is because for many years i have lied to myself about many things, addictions mostly. When i started admitting this was my problem i was being true to myself. And this was worth so much more than the denial i was in.

FIRE wrote:BTW, the Goddess doesn't want us to cut our hair........

Your hair is so long that is amazing i love it. My hair is not quite that long but as far as i know it's still growing Very Happy Great pic.

Many Blessings

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Re: COMING OUT OF THE BROOM CLOSET

Post by d-knots on July 14th 2009, 6:02 pm

i'm most content when I LOVE and feel good about
myself and being in on this planet...so like.... community minded

community is a key to surviving the journey....

faithful religions are just communities...LOL
Thank You
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Re: COMING OUT OF THE BROOM CLOSET

Post by Spirit-Being on July 15th 2009, 7:54 pm

d-knots wrote:i'm most content when I LOVE and feel good about
myself and being in on this planet...so like.... community minded

community is a key to surviving the journey....

faithful religions are just communities...LOL

How true this is d-knots,

I noticed how kids choose to be grouped with other kids that share their interests. Seems we all need to be a part of something we believe in, or people that share our interests. This is truly something special, feeling connected to one another.

we all need each other this is important in life, our inspirations come from other people. i guess that is why i feel so comfortable here with all of you (My good friends).

Good Post

Many Blessings

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Re: COMING OUT OF THE BROOM CLOSET

Post by Boydcreek on March 5th 2013, 10:23 am

Fire; I enjoyed your post and I can relate in many ways. I too sought the truth for many years and was discouraged by what I saw in the Christian community. But I have learned that most Christians (nearly all that I see) as Paul in the Bible said are only capable of drinking the milk as with babes. So they have not learned the deep walk. Many have set up churches etc. with as little knowledge as a baby. Because of Ego which is not part of God. And have hurt many people. It is a shame what has been done and said in the name of "God". But it doesn't matter what we call ourselves anyway. The same creator created us all no matter what we call He/She. Then I explored some of the teachings of part of my heritage (Native American) and found many answers there. But it still comes down to; it doesn't matter what names we give. And it doesn't have anything to do with "following" a "group" but only with following our own heart in seeking.
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Re: COMING OUT OF THE BROOM CLOSET

Post by Aussiepom on March 5th 2013, 11:24 am

What's wrong with being a Pagan? Paganism is very near to spiritualism.
Or what someone told me.

I remember in years gone by,never mention if you were a spiritualist in a hospital.
It was frowned upon.

Hubby was in hospital for a spell a few years ago.
Round came the forms which was classic if anyone was a new entry into the ward.
They had to be filled in.

He came to the religious bit and wrote boldly.....'Spiritualist'!

He was asked several times what a Spiritualist was!
He explained that he believed in a life after death.
Oddly enough it was accepted. Even the doctors had a chuckle.....said to him....'We won't bother operating on you,you're not going to die'. Duh

Joan
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Re: COMING OUT OF THE BROOM CLOSET

Post by shortangel on March 5th 2013, 11:37 am

Love these posts, it has taken me a very long time to be true to myself and what I believe in.
It is funny but at the age of 68, (nearly 69) I ave never been more content with myself than of lat.

June
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Re: COMING OUT OF THE BROOM CLOSET

Post by Guest on March 5th 2013, 1:07 pm

That is an excellent post from Fire.
I am not sure if being true to ourselves is what it is all about.
A very wise person once said
"If I am not for myself,who will be for me;
and if I am only for myself what am I?"
For myself I see myself as a part of a group soul.
I live this existence as a true a way as I can but I
offer to my group whatever flows from this existence.
Stephen

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