I need to vent!

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I need to vent!

Post by mia on August 24th 2013, 4:01 pm

My ex husband is an ill man.
Has COPD.
He has emergency antibiotics.
He used them up.
Didn't replace them.
Just phoned daughter (who lives with me) to say he has a chest infection, which started sometime last week.
Now I have to collect him, alone, in my car (daughter not well and doesn't drive anyway)
To take him to a surgery, miles away, to see a doctor, at 10.15 tonight!
I am tired, been staying with mum cos she had an op last week, back to work on Thursday and it's my weekend to work.
And I have to be up at 6.30 tomorrow morning.
GRRRRRR
Thanks for listening

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Re: I need to vent!

Post by mia on August 25th 2013, 1:59 am

And there was nothing wrong with him after all!!!!

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Re: I need to vent!

Post by skfarblum on August 25th 2013, 5:07 am

Dear Mia,
Doing good is never wasted.Somebody else will benefit
from your goodness.Maybe even you or somebody close
to you.Who knows?
Stephen
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Re: I need to vent!

Post by mia on August 25th 2013, 5:41 am

I agree Stephen.
I don't like being alone with him.
He gives me the creeps.
And I haven't the energy to cope with him.
I do his shopping .... help him loads.
He won't help himself.
A phonecall to his doctors when he ran out of his emergency supply and he would have been ok.
He agreed to have a carer, just to visit each day, to check he was ok.
But when it was arranged, he declined it.
I am the only one with a car, out of immediate family.
Now he wants me to take him shopping on Monday, my only day off.
Daughter has had an op on her hand (carpal tunnel)
We wanted him to have Age Concern to take him shopping til she is able to again cos she cant push his wheel chair.
But he refused.
I am still seeing to my mum and going to work.
But, I shall do it, cos he is a sick man.
But ..... GRRRRRRRR
I am really trying to calm down.
And I shall be professional when with him.
I am a carer, it's my job.
But he is my ex .... I left him for a reason.
He put me off relationships.

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Re: I need to vent!

Post by Arbel on August 25th 2013, 5:45 am

There are times Mia that we have to take a step back and let get on with it; in the words of my guide that state be careful who you offer help to other otherwise it becomes more of a burden than a blessing








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Re: I need to vent!

Post by skfarblum on August 25th 2013, 6:26 am

Thanks for explaining mia.It's seems to be that old story
who takes care of the carer.
For all its worth,you have my deep respect for what you
are doing.
Try and care of yourself as well.
Stephen
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Re: I need to vent!

Post by Aussiepom on August 25th 2013, 12:02 pm

Dear Mia....get in touch with Social Services. † Demand help from them...
You are not responsible for him any more. † †I know that sounds drastic but you need to do it for your own sake. ††
Please!

joan xx
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Re: I need to vent!

Post by mia on August 25th 2013, 1:50 pm

We did Joanie ..... they went round, were really nice, made him a cuppa, sat and chatted ....filled in all the forms .....then he refused to sign.
They can't make him accept.
I am not taking him shopping tomorrow, I am going by myself with his shopping list.
He had the oppurtunity to go with a carer and refused.
But I cannot see him without food.

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Re: I need to vent!

Post by Aussiepom on August 25th 2013, 2:44 pm

Strange but the site went off. † Maybe I shouldn't be advising you,Mia.
So will only say....take it easy and do not wear yourself out.....
Hugs

Joan x
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Re: I need to vent!

Post by ATouchofHeart on August 29th 2013, 1:43 am

Compassion and caring are some of life's lessons we all deal with.†
I'll bet he's thanking you from the bottom of his heart.†

My daughter's mother and father-in-law. They separated many...many moons ago but he is still in her life (because of his son) and he annoys his x wife a lot. They don't argue but she makes it clear.†

I'm a caregiver too Mia. I took care of my father when he was sick after stroke in 82 and again in 91. He had taken care of my mother who had cancer and a stoke. Then in 91 after my dad died I took care of my mother-in-law and continued with father-in-law. They cared for us all our young lives and we must return the love and caring to them.†

Grab the Calgon or Epsom salts and some essential oils and take a long hot bath. Tomorrow you will feel fresh and cleansed and know that you love life.
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Re: I need to vent!

Post by Aussiepom on August 29th 2013, 7:11 am

You have a good heart to take on all you have for your parents and family.
Bless your heart.....Sunny

Joan xx
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