what started your search for the truths ?

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Re: what started your search for the truths ?

Post by Vanilla2 on June 2nd 2013, 4:45 am

Oh my a TouchofHeart, this topic has really opened up many old wounds between many of us. As for forgiving, I am afraid that is one of my hardest to do, I very rarely ever forgive, nor do I ever forget what has been said or done to me by someone. I really do commend you on your part, as I read, it did not come easy, when you state... " I had to " rather than I " wanted to. "

But you know what, maybe thats the tactic I should now use. " I have to," rather than " I want to." After all it wasnt me who had, or has the problem.

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Re: what started your search for the truths ?

Post by Guest on June 2nd 2013, 5:51 am

Yes,indeed Jackie."I have to" seems to be the way.

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Re: what started your search for the truths ?

Post by Taurus20 on June 2nd 2013, 3:36 pm

Wow Deb, that cane is something it must surely have hurt! I suppose it was something his parents did to him.
My father had a cat of nine tail, do you know what that is? It hurt like h---!
Though as I got older I knew when it was coming and I would prepare and stuff towels in my pants so when I walked in the door and he swung the cat it wouldn't hurt me!
I can honestly say that type of punishment ended with him, I have never hit one of my children all their lives. Sometimes it was very hard to restrain because of what was done to me but I managed and I don't believe it is necessary in raising children. I know everyone has their own opinions and that's fine. I learned the hard way, what I didn't want to do my own children.
Stephen, I so sorry you had to endure everything you did. Sometimes it is so hard believe we plan for these things to happen. I think the forgiving is the lesson we are suppose to learn and I guess we did that.
I did forgive my father while he was still on this earth because he died a horrible death of lung cancer and we became close during that time. I had left home at 18 and lived with an Aunt until I married at 20 so I wasn't close to my father until he got ill. He died at 58. He was come forward during a medium reading and asked for my forgiveness. I knew exactly what the medium was talking about and I said I had already forgiven him.
Jackie, I had a very hard time forgiving like you have but when I read that forgiving doesn't mean you have to accept then everything fell in place and it was easy. The way I originally saw it was if I forgive someone for doing something bad, I was accepting what they did to me, but that isn't it, you are just releasing them so you can do on, now I find it a lot easier to forgive. Also knowing that most of our hurts come from our own planning, it has helped me. If you haven't read Robert Schwartz's books that Deb recommended you really should. I learned so much about forgiveness by understanding how we plan our lives.
If you or anyone else here has a Kindle I have both of his books and would be happy to loan them to you, just PM me your amazon Kindle email address.
Laura really has opened the pandoras box with this post, but I think it has been very healing for a lot of us. I know I said this before Laura but Thank You Good Post
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Re: what started your search for the truths ?

Post by ATouchofHeart on June 2nd 2013, 6:49 pm

skfarblum wrote:Hi Deb,
Yes to forgive in one's life time is important.
It makes it easier to let go of memories,in the
sense they no longer own us and run our lives.
What a horrible stick.Who thinks of these things?
Well thanks to Laura Ann for starting this post.
Now all the secrets are no longer so.
Stephen

That's right, very important.
The cane is typical of a traditional walking cane from Belfast. I think my Uncle Fred gave it to Dad.
Do not get me wrong my father was a loving and kind man well admired among friends and the community.
I just ticked him off one day. The only other time he ever laid a hand on me was at the dinner table. I didn't like peas as a kid. I really did not like them. One day I spit them out in my napkin and hid it under my leg. Dad saw it and I got belted with the back of his right hand and I fell back and hit the floor. I have laughed at that one for years.
I was Daddy's little girl and I don't think he liked me growing up LOL But it was my fault too. I was strong headed as a teen. Determined to fulfill my independent path I had set out to accomplish in this lifetime.

Even during an event in 2010 with James Van Praagh and Tony Stockwell (love that guy too) Tony gave me an audience reading at the end of his time to be on stage. He was the very first one to bring through my mom, dad and Tony said "You have a whole group of Irish Relatives in the background - they are all here" Circle of Friends

Yes it is a great post. Nothing like clearing the air and sharing experiences. Thanks Laura Ann Blow Kiss









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Re: what started your search for the truths ?

Post by laura ann on July 28th 2013, 12:43 am

I am glad to see so much inner healing was achieved by just having a open and honest discussion on the inner pain so many of us hold/held within. I believe it is what makes us strong.

What do we hold all that pain so close to our hearts for so many years?
It didn't serve us. Did we somehow feel it defined who we were or if we released it we would fall into shattered pieces of glass.
Why did we feel the shame of anothers actions? They weren't ours yet we wore them like badges of dishonor.

I have been raised by alcoholic parents. Never knew my birth father.
married alcoholics yet I never drank in my life other then a rare social cocktail. My parents thought beating us with a 2x4 was a spanking. They never said you did a nice job, it was your stupid etc. I have endured three house fires, floods, sexual abuse by a grandparent, physical abuse by a spouse, mental abuse by a spouse and the loss of my children who without asking if there was truth to the lies decided after a lifetime of taking care of them I was no longer worthy of them. This ripped something out of me that will never heal. But I finally had to accept it even though I actually had done nothing wrong learned I had to love them enough to release them. very difficult after a life of total devotion to them.
I could either let all these things break me or make me stronger. I chose to survive and a few years ago almost opted out. I can tell you if it is not your time you will not go anywhere. Mia probably remembers when I hit the dark night of my soul.

We can let it define us or we can define it. We can become stronger, more patient and more compassionate to others experiences because we all have know suffering and pain.

It all has merely polished another facet on our already shining brightly diamond selfs.

thank you all for the beautiful sharings I just read here. I missed most of them as I stepped away for a time.
I am humbled and my heart is swollen with the love I felt while reading your individual accounts of suffering.

We are a lot... a beautiful lot of shining stars
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Re: what started your search for the truths ?

Post by ATouchofHeart on July 28th 2013, 3:57 am

(((((Laura Ann))))) You yourself have gone through a lot.
It does make us all†stronger....if we choose.†

Namaste......................Namaste
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Re: what started your search for the truths ?

Post by mia on July 28th 2013, 5:18 am

I started to write my story.
I got so far, then I must have hit a button and it all disappeared.
I take it as not meant to be shared.

Maybe another time.

I will say, we are a group of strong, brave individuals, who have been blessed with the gift of forgiveness and love for our fellow man/woman.

Through our experiences, we have become who we are.

Much love to you all xxx

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Re: what started your search for the truths ?

Post by Guest on July 28th 2013, 6:01 am

Mia,that is lovely.
Thanks
Stephen

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Re: what started your search for the truths ?

Post by mia on July 28th 2013, 6:11 am

(((stephen)))

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Re: what started your search for the truths ?

Post by ATouchofHeart on July 28th 2013, 3:14 pm

Well said ((((Mia))))†

For Your Story.................Loving Hugs
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