Compassion

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Compassion

Post by beautydylan on April 15th 2012, 5:05 am

I'd like to include a thread on here about compassion if that's ok, because I've noticed
that there's not much compassion for those who are suffering. Why do people feel the need to blatantly judge others for being in pain?
Sometimes people need support so they seek the needed support out but
sadly some people seem to have a problem with it and judge them harshly
when they don't know or understand the situation, they haven't walked in
the other person's shoes, they don't know what sort of hell the other
person's going through, they just judge by their understanding without
trying to find out why that person needs so much support.

For example (this is just an example, this particular incident hasn't
actually happened to my knowledge but it's merely an example:

Person A: The ex just walked out on me, taking all my stuff as well as his
Person B: Oh dear
Person C: Shut up will you person A, you always talk about yourself when we are together
Person A: No I don't
Person C: You are a manipulating liar
Person A: You never listen to me when I need to talk
Person C: Shut up we all have problems, we no longer want to have anything to do with you
Person B: I'm not getting involved, you two have to sort it out yourselves
Person A: *runs off crying*
Person C: That's it go away we don't want you

Do you all see the sort of thing I mean? That's just an example, it's
merely meant to show the WORST way of dealing with someone who's very
upset. Now compare it to this example:

Person A: The ex just walked out on me, taking all my stuff as well as his
Person B: Oh dear, sorry to hear that
Person C: Aww sorry to hear that, *gives person A a hug*
Person A: Aww thanks person C that means a lot
Person C: I'm always here for you you know that
Person A: Aww thanks guys, this means a lot
Person C: Sure, any time, you know my phone number if you need to talk. Where will you be staying while you get things sorted?
Person B: Fred Bloggs down the road has a spare room and is looking for a
lodger, here's his phone number if you'd like to see if he's still
wanting a lodger
Person A: Aww thanks Person B
Person C: Do you need any stuff? I can give you some old clothes of mine and some toiletries
Person B: Sure no problem Person A
Person A: Aww thanks guys this means such a lot

Do you see the difference between both approaches? Ask yourselves, which
approach would you make and which approach would you prefer to have
done to you if you were in person A's shoes?

Do you think of how the other person feels when you talk to them? Do you
sneer and walk away? Do you say "I can't talk now" any hurry away so
the person has no chance to get their problem off their chest? Do you
even give them a chance to talk to you? Do you even care about the way others feel? Do you treat others as
equals or do you look down on them and think they are a bad smell who
don't deserve your attention?

How would you like to be treated? Like dirt or like a human being? Ask yourself that.

Thanks for reading this. I'm just tired of people judging others.


Last edited by beautydylan on April 15th 2012, 5:28 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Added a couple of sentences)
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Re: Compassion

Post by Vanilla2 on April 15th 2012, 5:13 am

Beautydylon if I can make a comment to above scenario. It would depend on whether other persons know that persons ex partner. Which one of the two do there sympathies lie with. It would be hard to be sympathetic even to a good friend, if they genuinely felt there friend was to blame. I am just responding to your above scenario not the complete topic which I would be answering differently, and will post later.

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Re: Compassion

Post by mia on April 15th 2012, 6:04 am

Actually, I was going to make a similar thread, but forgot.
I did say something on one of sunny's threads though.

I agree we should not judge or take for granted anothers situation.
I have a friend who badly needs counselling, she drains me every time I see her.
I have stopped inviting her to my social evenings because she kills the energy.
I do visit her for short periods, but find it difficult to cope.
I cannot go into detail too much.
She won't move on, repeats her problem over and over.

Yet another friend who is going thru a frightening health issue only mentions it if I bring it up myself.

None of us know anothers situation, we can only guess.

Do you think of how the other person feels when you talk to them?
I do and I read their body language too.

Do you sneer and walk away?
No

Do you say "I can't talk now" any hurry away so
the person has no chance to get their problem off their chest?

I have to sometimes, if I am working or have an appointment, or if a grandchild or my mum is waiting for me to collect them.

Do you even give them a chance to talk to you?
When I have time too

Do you even care about the way others feel?
Very much so

Like I said, we all have problems, all have worries.

Have you thought that those who do ignore those who need to get something off their chest, may have so much themselves they cannot carry anothers burden?

When my father died, no way could I have listened to anothers troubles.
Same when my son overdosed, my mum had a heart attack and a friend died .... I could go on and on.

We are not always strong, not always capable of dropping everything for another.

There is definately no need to sneer and / or be rude though.
If one has nothing nice to say, don't speak at all

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Re: Compassion

Post by Spirit-Being on April 15th 2012, 10:44 am

Beautydylan wrote:I'm just tired of people judging others.

Me to, you have all the right reason to feel this way, it will only help you to rid yourself of the judgements we have been programmed to believe. Ultimately i have come to this conclusion, as long as i work to deprogram my mind from the harsh judgements we put on others and ourselves, only then can we help others to see clearly as well.

I just got done writing a topic on a friends wall about how much judgement their is between same sex marriages. Here is my post...

1st post
I have made an effort to deprogram my mind, i have spoke to some people about how labels can and sometimes do create judgements. There are many words i am throwing out of my mind. Just to stay on the topic here, the words gay & lesbian i am removing from my mind as well as the definitions that go with them. May sound strange but if anyone mentions those two words, i will be like i have no idea what your talking about. It's like our minds are like computers what ever they are programmed to believe they will. So i choose to reprogram any thoughts that create judgements in others in negative ways.

2nd post
I love how you see things with an open mind. I think we all are moving into a new direction. The ones that can see the Beauty within a person, are actually helping the ones that make harsh judgements on others. The more people open up their minds, the better this world will be. Ultimately it starts with us, and others will see the truth in due time. To answer your question it absolutely makes no difference, we are all people we breathe the same air, we are made the same on the inside. Being humble is also part of it, having that understanding that we are all equal and no one is above another person. I know they have ranks in the world, for structural purposes, But it can go to a persons head. I have been through this before and i now try to live in equality with all people and all life. My biggest goal is removing the judgements for myself and others.

As for compassion we as people can make an effort to try to understand anothers pain or situation (Empathy) We all have so much to give to the world we live in. I love this post and i can feel your frustration in your words Beautydylan, i get this way to, alot of the world we live in doesn't make much sense at times, and to have that desire to wish you could change it, is wonderful.

You can see through the Illusions as i like to call them, very easily just as i feel many here do as well. It starts with you, when you live your life in the way you know you need to, others will catch on trust me. What a wonderful article i could probably type a few pages Very Happy

~Love, Light, Blessings~

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Re: Compassion

Post by Vanilla2 on April 15th 2012, 12:26 pm

I think we have become a nation of judging a person by there looks, there dress etc. Take the tv programmes the x factor and Britain's got talent for example. How many people judge the act even before the act starts, only to turn out that this persons voice is absolutely fantastic, and you then see the audiences faces change. Then at the end of that act, that person gets a standing ovation. This person was initially judged on appearance. Maybe the person was large, or just looked weird.
I used to work in a betting office ( bookmakers ) taking money on horse racing bets. but I learnt very quickly never to judge a person by how they look, how they dress, as to what type of bet they would put on, ie: a small money bet or lay out a large sum of money. The scruffy man could have a large bet, the smart suited man a small bet.
I also learnt to not judge a man who I see on the ground. Ask if he/ she is alright, yes its likely this person is a drunk, a wino, a down and out, but he/ she could also have taken a fall, be in need of our help. It doesn't cost anything to ask if they are ok. I've even in the past had a wino thank me for stopping and taking the time in asking.

I will continue with this topic again, as there is much to discuss, apart from judging a person by there appearance, or by first impressions only.

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