Old Phart Wine

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Old Phart Wine

Post by laura ann on April 2nd 2012, 10:28 am

since the census here seems to be over 60 here is an article I wrote several years ago...loll lol

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OLD FART WINE

I was driving along the internet highway searching for a picture of that perfect bottle of wine to add to a forum post when I stumbled across a quant little shop. Where back in the dark, dank, corner peeking out of an old crate filled with straw stood a bottle of wine. Oh so proud and majestic it stood. With words plastered across its belly that made my mouth gape and my giggles to rumble. In big bold letters read OLD FART WINE.

As I looked at the bottle with my mouth dropped open, I got so darned tickled I thought I am going to pee myself. That in turn got me laughing even harder as I imagined as well the spectacle Old Fart Wine was going to make when this Old Phart actually peed her pants in the middle of this old antique store no less.

I figured I am already fifteen to twenty years away from needing to wear diapers again anyway, and closer if I am unlucky. You know it is so ironic that if we live long enough we live the true cycle of life. Start in diapers end in diapers. There is no justice ... just divine comedy.

It also made me remember how many times I have called myself an Old Phart as had several of my friends in just the last few weeks. Why? I asked myself when we are just figuring out life are we referring to ourself as Old Pharts. Arent' we just simply the wise ones in a sea of youth. We are definately not responsible for the fact that you cannot put old wine in new wine sacks......But you sure can pour a lot of wine down an old winsack lol.

I then started to wonder what is actually in a bottle of Old Fart Wine. Is it really just Kool Aid.....Did some well meaning soul in the wine factory dilute some old rot gut wine with water, believing that Old Pharts are so senile that they could not possibly know the difference.

Could they have the audacity to slap a label on it thinking we are so past our prime. And as a card carrying member of the bifocal society of America we won't be able to read that it actually says 2009 on the label. Do they think we will think it says 007 or something and we will imagine that if we drink it we will become a James Bond super agent. Of course I have met a few old geezers in my day that drank some old rot gut wine and thought they were superman or superhuman instead of a super pile of sheeeeaatt ooollllla.

If I am going to drink anything which is a rarity in it'self but if I do this Ole Phart prefers a lovely white Amish Zinfandel chiilled to a ice cold state.

Frankly my Old Phart friends ...I prefer to look at it with the skilled blurred vison of age, the heart of skipped one to many beats, and the fingers that are racked with arthritis and say "I and my beautiful bottle of Old Fart Wine are simply like a wonderful old grand piano. We just need polished more often than played and just when I have finally gotten all my Notes perfectly tuned."

Old Phart indeed......


© laura ann
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Re: Old Phart Wine

Post by Taurus20 on February 25th 2013, 1:55 pm

So cute! I even have bought that wine before for an OLD PHART FRIEND! Amen

You are a very clever writer, I enjoyed! Smile Thank You
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Re: Old Phart Wine

Post by ATouchofHeart on February 28th 2013, 6:50 pm

Taurus20 wrote:So cute! I even have bought that wine before for an OLD PHART FRIEND! Amen

You are a very clever writer, I enjoyed! Smile Thank You

lol!
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